Sunday, April 20, 2014

Hope in the Battle

This update is looong overdue. I’ve been back in Haiti for nearly three weeks and have been thinking about needing to write since sitting on a place in Texas reading an email as I prayed I wouldn’t miss my connection.

I was a little anxious after a weather delay in Kansas City, nervous that we were just landing in Dallas as my next flight was scheduled to board. As we taxied to our gate I turned my phone on and received an email from one of our American staff members here in Haiti with an update. As I read the email I could physically feel a weight on my chest, and then I was immediately discouraged; “why am I rushing back to this place where they don’t even welcome our help?” “Why am I making myself anxious, leaving my family and making sacrifices to receive news like this?” I quickly recognized my thoughts as attacks from the enemie, pushed them out of my mind and whispered a silent prayer before responding.
The gist of the email was that the (Haitian) director of our school, whom I’ll refer to as MB, decided she is going to be firing some of the administration at the end of the year, and says the white people are not welcome in “her” school. There were some very ugly things said about us, some things specifically directed towards my roommate Stephanie, who helps with me with our library program, and myself, among other people Haitian and American.  
The administrator whom MB threatened to fire is one of our favorite at the school. He realizes change needs to take place in Haiti’s education system, he’s open to ideas and trying new things, he and his wife love the Lord, and he is not afraid to embrace the changes MB is opposed to. We’ve told MB that we will hire him back since Respire Haiti pays the salaries at the school and it’s ultimately not her decision alone.
We’re basically at a stalemate with so many things right now because we want to be respectful, we want to be unified, and there are some things we just cannot do without MB’s support and approval. We are continuing to pray for wisdom, a changed heart in MB, and a solution to the problems because, ultimately, it is the kids who are suffering.   

Fast forward to April 7. We have a little neighbor boy who we’d been wanting to get to a cardiologist for a while and that morning our nurse received an email saying there was a team of doctors in Haiti, about 1.5 hours from us, and they could see Richcarde that afternoon. Kam and Meg rushed off to P-ville to make the appointment and later let us know that it was bad. Really bad.
Richarde has a severe case of mitral valve prolapse and would need a valve replacement within six months… A surgery which cannot be done in Haiti. Mountains would need to be moved.
We decided that with his size (we thought he was 14 but found out he’s 17, and weighs under 90 lbs), the condition of his heart and the medicines he would be taking, it was best he stay with us. So that evening Richie Rich, as well like to call him, came to stay with us temporarily and we started the process of applying for a passport, which is no easy task in Haiti. Sure enough we’ve run into complications with that, but Lord willing progress will be made this week.
As we’ve realized just how weak Richie Rich’s heart is we’re amazed at the things he’s been doing up to now, and that his heart has continued to function.
Well, Friday we got the news that Richcarde has a surgery date in the Dominican Republic on June 2nd! The speed of this coming together is a HUGE answer to prayer, not to mention what an answer to prayer it is for the surgery to take place in the DR rather than London or the US.
Now we just pray everything comes together with the passport and visa so we can make the surgery date. It will also be a long recovery in the DR, 6 months, which is another prayer as we’ll most likely need to have someone with him at all times. It’s a big time commitment as well as a financial commitment. Pray with us for each detail to be worked out and provided for.

And then there’s Kaila. She’s our student who has a severe, deteriorating, case of scoliosis. She’s to the point where she will soon not be able to come to school as walking and sitting are a struggle, and she can’t go far without having to gasp for breath. While we’ve had a group of supporters in the US working on lining up doctors, hospitals, rehab, a host family and financial supporters, the hold-up has been on the Haiti side with passport issues, family issues, etc. Well a couple weeks ago we finally received Kaila’s passport! Praise Jesus! 
The next step is to apply for an emergency medical visa which cannot be done until we have a letter of acceptance from a hospital, among other things.
Now the hold-up has been on the US side as the hospital that was lined up has now declined our case. It’s super frustrating for us to now be ready to speedily move forward but are instead doing seemingly nothing. All in God’s timing, because now an opportunity at a top children’s hospital in Ohio has opened up. A decision between OH or PA has to be made by May 7th but before then many details still need to come together. Please pray with us that details would work out in the city which would most benefit Kaila and her needs.
This too is a commitment as we’ll need to have someone with her at all times during her hospital stay, and it will be a long recovery in the states with a host family.

There are also the more day to day situations, finding out one of our neighbor boys has been beaten by his sister (who is his primary caregiver), which is a regular occurrence.
Children who, every time you see them, only seem to get smaller and smaller.
The continued set backs on the medical clinic which was suppose to be finished in October.
Wanting to give out a cross necklace as an Easter gift but first having to explain that it isn’t evil, it isn’t voodoo. In Haiti you won’t see a cross adorning the podiums or walls of churches because here the cross is a symbol of voodoo. The cross has been used in voodoo for years and no one has been bold enough to stand up and reclaim it for what it is. It sounds simple, but it is not.
Then there are the kids who tell you you are of the devil because you are wearing earrings, or because you have your nails painted red. All lies of voodoo which are engrained in the culture here. Each time this statement is made we try, in our best, broken Creole, to explain the lies. To explain truth.

In all of these situations, and so many more, we feel the weight of the attacks of the enemy, the weight of the curse of sin, but in these situations we know God is faithful and we see Him working. We know God is able to change hearts, move mountains, bring details together, close doors that don’t need to be walked through and open those that do.
As we daily live these situations, as we daily strive to be a light in such a dark place, to look like Jesus to those around us, please pray with and for us. Pray for spiritual protection from the enemy, for protection against discouragement, for unity and community amongst our team here. Pray that MB would not see this as “her” school, or think that we see it as “our” (the white people’s school), but as OUR school collectively. Pray that skin color and languages would not be seen, but our common bond in Christ, our common focus of our students.
Pray that, above all, God’s name will be made known here, that He will be glorified, that Respire Haiti will shine atop Bellevue mountain as a light in the darkness, and that satan and his demons will have no place here.




Afterthought:

Please pray for me specifically as I have to sit down and speak with MB this week, and by myself since Megan, Rita and Stephanie are all out of country. Pray I will speak just the right words, approach the situation in a non-threatening, non-confrontational way, and that nothing would be misunderstood in translation (so pray for my translator too!), pray that I will show grace and patience with MB and that Christ’s love will be pour out of me. 

Monday, February 17, 2014

A Battle Rages

(1.16.14)

The battle started long before I ever knew where Haiti was or had even heard of Haiti, but last week the battle became more real, personal, and urgent for all of us.

For our struggle is not against enemies of blood and flesh, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers of this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places.
 Ephesians 6:12

Last Monday we received a call saying one of our students was having an asthma attack. As Kameryn raced to gather supplies we were told the student had passed out. Concerned for her Meg, Rita, Kam (our nurse), Bernard (a translator), and pastor Benito raced up the mountain. I remained in the café praying for the situation.
Long story short(er), after Kam had checked vitals and all she could think to check she arrived at the conclusion that things were normal, there was no asthma attack but the student was still unresponsive. Kam racked her brain, asked the students sister and classmates questions, coming up with nothing. Meg explained to pastor that Kam was finding nothing.
Pastor walked over to Rose,* spoke, and she immediately jolted upright. He’d asked if there was anyone in her that didn’t belong. What followed was an intense hour of prayer and waging spiritual war as three demons were cast out of Rose.*

He has rescued us from the power of darkness and transferred us into the kingdom of his beloved Son, in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins. Colossians 1:13 & 14

The next day Meg, Kam, and Rita met with a student whom we’re trying to get to the States for an urgently needed surgery, along with her mother.
Everyone had been feeling a little unsettled about things and somewhere along the way it was questioned whether or not Lily* knew the Lord. So, after Mondays experience they pushed a little harder for answers. The meeting moved to pastor Benito’s house so he could pray with them, and he started asking questions. Dad, whom we’d always been told had died in the earthquake, was said to be alive and well. What?!?! Why this lie?
More questions.
Mom professes Christ, dad practices voodoo…  Yet more questions as mom dances around answering them, all the while Lily* won’t make eye contact with pastor, physically turning her body away from him.
Finally, “how does Lily* sleep at night?” After more dancing around the answer mom says Lily* does not sleep well, she is spiritually attacked every night but refuses to tell anyone what she is seeing or experiencing.
For now Lily’s trip to the States is on the back burner, so to speak, as we wage war for her soul. Healing for her body is no good if her soul is in torment. Her soul needs healing far more than her crippled body.
The first step is for Lily* to share what she’s been seeing and experiencing.

The battle is real whether or not you choose to believe it.

As for us, we’re realizing how real this is, how vulnerable our children are, that we must be proactive in waging war for our students, covering them in prayers of protection from Satan and his armies. We are being more intentional about being Jesus to our students, being intentional in our prayers, praying we are sensitive to the Spirit and that He would reveal which kids are in spiritual bondage.
We are a light on a hill, and even a small light is easily seen in the pitch dark and makes a difference, beginning to drive out the darkness.
We are in a battle. The battle rages but we don’t fear because our God is the God of angel armies and in the end the victory is His.

And the devil who had deceived them was thrown into the lake of fire and sulfur, where the beast and the false prophet were, and they will be tormented day and night forever and ever.
Revelation 20:10



There are so many other thoughts I have, and other places I could take this, but I leave you with the “simple” re-telling of these events and challenge you to think on them, I ask you to wage war with and for us. Ephesians 6:10-17 has become our prayer for ourselves, that we may be prepared to fight this battle, that we would not be caught off guard.

Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of his power. Put on the whole armor of God, so that you may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. For our struggle is not against enemies of blood and flesh, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers of this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places. Therefore take up the whole armor of God, so that you may be able to withstand on that evil day, and having done everything, to stand firm. Stand therefore, and fasten the belt of truth around your waist, and put on the breastplate of righteousness. As shoes for your feet put on whatever will make you ready to proclaim the gospel of peace. With all of these, take the shield of faith, with which you will be able to quench all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. 
Ephesians 6:10-17


*Names changed to protect the privacy of our students

Thursday, January 23, 2014

Love

It was said today that our kids can only be loved as much as they love themselves, that their success can only come from within. 
As we all processed these statements we became upset because, forget that it's completely opposite from why we're here, it's completely opposite of the gospel. 
If God were waiting to love us until we loved us ourselves enough, if God were waiting to send His Son until we'd shown ourselves worthy in and of ourselves we'd still be awaiting the first coming of Messiah. We'd be waiting for something that would never come. 
Instead, in our filth, brokenness, insecurities, faults and failures God looked at us and saw worth and value, even when we could not (cannot). He sent His Son when we were unlovable, when we didn't love ourselves. With His Spirit He breathes new life into us.
I say all of that to say I've been reminded why I'm here, my focus has been reeled in. I'm here to love there kids when no one else does, when no on else cares, when no one else believes in them.
I'm here to hug, smile at, talk with, and encourage them, to say "ou kapab?" (you can) when no one else does. Ultimately I pray they see Christ in and through me. These children are beaten, bruised and broken, treated like property rather than people, told they are nothing, unwanted, stupid, worthless and will never amount to anything.
Until these children are shown love they will never know what love is; they will never know to love and respect themselves; That they are valuable because they are children of God, created in His image. Until they are loved, encouraged, and nurtured they will never be successful. 
I'm here to love. If I do nothing else, if my list of "accomplishments" and completed tasks consists of nothing but this one thing, "love. be love," then I have done the one thing God ultimately has me here to do. May I be the love of Christ to these precious children. May you be the love of God to the precious ones He has placed around you.


The Way of Love

13 If I speak with human eloquence and angelic ecstasy but don’t love, I’m nothing but the creaking of a rusty gate.

If I speak God’s Word with power, revealing all his mysteries and making everything plain as day, and if I have faith that says to a mountain, “Jump,” and it jumps, but I don’t love, I’m nothing.

3-7 If I give everything I own to the poor and even go to the stake to be burned as a martyr, but I don’t love, I’ve gotten nowhere. So, no matter what I say, what I believe, and what I do, I’m bankrupt without love.

1 Corinthians 13:1-3 (MSG)

Thursday, January 2, 2014

Bon Ane (Happy New Year)!

Written 1.1.14

One year ago today I moved to Haiti. Little did I know at the time that I would still be here calling Haiti home. In some ways it feels like I've only been here for months, while in others it feels like I've experienced years of emotions and events since January 1, 2013.

I witnessed Josh & Megan's marriage, and the multiplying of their family from 3 to 6. I was privileged to be there when the girls moved into Freedom House, I was here when one of those sweet girls transitioned out; I've seen the opening of our secondary building and Cafe, watched the bathrooms, direction office, walls and medical clinic go up,  and the garden expand; I've watched our English students grow as they have weekly Bible study and ask many questions, they are so hungry for truth.
I was privileged to assist in kindergarten, help with summer tutoring and form relationships with "our kids," I'm blessed to live and serve with a house full of amazing people. I've seen physical and spiritual healing take place.
We've had teams from all over come and go, helping in so many ways. I've assisted in clinics doing things I never would have imagined. 
God is good!

I've also been tired, frustrated and worn down, seen and experienced some tough things. 
Children "disappearing" from school, some we find and some we don't; senseless preventable deaths, watching cancer take over a body, seeing students suffer because they need what would be a "simple" procedure in the States but can't get it here, screams of children being beaten, young people so confused by legalism, hearing the words "I'm okay being on Satan's side, he needs more people." 
Dealing with disunity and manipulation, frustration with learning a new language and not being able to fully communicate. Having to personally abandon a child at a police station, forcing them to do their job instead of continue giving us the run around. BUT in these situations I can look back and still say God is good! 
Without some of these difficult situations I wouldn't be able to list some of the joys and privileges that I have. These difficult situations have led to the opportunity for truth to be spoken, for God's name to be made famous, for His work and power to be put on display. It has caused me to see my deep need for Him, that He is the only one who can sustain me. 

I am blessed, humbled and privileged to be serving with Respire and calling Haiti home for this season of life. I look forward to seeing God continue to move in Gressier, making His name known among the people here, and among our team. 
I am thankful for every one of you who have kept up with me, sending encouragement, praying, supporting me financially, sending care packages, reading my blogs and newsletters and sharing them with your friends and family. You are a big part of this journey as well. 
I pray that in this new year you will see God's blessing not only in the good times but also in the difficult times because no matter the situation God is good!



Behold I am about to do something new. See, I have already begun! Do you not see it? will make a pathway through the wilderness. I will create rivers in the dry wasteland.
Isaiah 43:19


If you would like to support me financially on this journey contact me at respiresharon@gmail.com 




Monday, November 11, 2013

SuRpRiSe!!!

I kinda take pride in the fact that I'm hard to surprise. After last month I'm not sure I can brag about it anymore...
In addition to being a huge surprise it was a blessing to have my family here, to have them see first-hand where I live and experience my daily life here. Although I can't say they were big fans of hikes up the mountain, or of sweating :)

As I sat in church Sunday morning worshiping with my mom, sister and niece, children sitting on laps, playing with hair, and singing these lyrics, in Creole and English, "All nations All people Sing glory hallelujah, Glory hallelujah, You are Lord, Lord God Almighty" I couldn't stop the tears from welling up.
It seemed so "right" to share time here together, and I believe my family has increased peace about me living here. 
Can't wait for the rest of them to experience first-hand the place I call home!
(To get the full effect of my reaction you should look at the pictures with the slideshow...)























My Haiti family is a huge blessing as well. I can't believe they pulled this off without me having even the slightest hint of a clue! You have no idea what it means to me that y'all did this for me.

Wednesday, October 30, 2013

Thankful in the Chaos

Tuesday. A crazy day. A day you don't want to repeat. A day you look back on and, though crazy, thankfulness is the only thing you have, the one thing I look back and see in the chaos.

Tuesday was the last day for us to have a team of doctors and nurses here so we did a low key clinic at the school that morning, seeing students with special cases while Kameryn and I, along with our trusty translator Patrick, worked on de-worming the whole school :)
At one point Kameryn was pulled away. A very pregnant mother had walked up the mountain with her 11 year old son who could barely stand. When I saw him he was limp and nearly lifeless, his body cold to touch. The nurses started him on IV and we de-wormed him, it was amazing how quickly his body warmed up but his belly was so hard and he was in so much pain.
We decided it would be best for the little boy, Jamesly, and his mother to come down to the house with us while he finished up his IV. The doctors diagnosed him with cholera.
As Jamesly sat on the porch, with Adam by his side, he threw up. Anyone who knows Adam knows it's a miracle he didn't automatically throw up right back on him. Instead he was able to sit there, in the puke, while the doctors got him up and into the bathroom. I was very impressed at the level of calmness Adam had, especially since vomit even got on his lips...
Anyhow, we proceeded to wipe down the area. Kameryn had just mixed up some bleach (a very strong powdered bleach) and as she put the rag in the jar the bleach slipped from her hands, hit the floor and splashed up directly into her eyes.
My first instinct was to grab water, the doctors and nurses rushed her to the sink, leaned her head back and said to start pouring water into her eyeballs. After at least 5 gallons of water being poured in her eyeballs, and at least 6 bottles of eye solution Kam went right back to caring for Jamesly. She was a champ, so tough and calm.
In all of this all I could do was look back and say "thank you." I'm thankful Jamesly's mother heard about our clinic somehow, I'm thankful she had the wisdom to know to bring him, I'm thankful she came Tuesday and didn't wait til Wednesday (not only would there have been no doctor but he may not have been alive), I'm thankful the doctors were there to care for him, I'm thankful God gave Adam the composure to not vomit right back on Jamesly :) I'm thankful, again, that we had doctors here to help when Kam got bleach in her eyes, I wouldn't have known to flush them so intensely or thought to look for eye wash solution. I'm thankful that Kam's eyes are perfectly fine, I'm thankful Jamesly was able to walk from the truck to his home later that afternoon.
I'm thankful God has me here working with such incredible team of people. I'm thankful for the community He is building here with these people.
Thankful.

You can also read about the events of last Tuesday on Adams blog, he has a pretty funny take on the day :) Just click here

Monday, October 14, 2013

Poor Yet Rich

(10.13.13)

As part of the James Bible study the ladies are doing I'm working on memorizing the book of James. 
As I sat in church this morning, unable to understand, I started in on chapter two. After saying verse five a few times, "Listen, my beloved brothers and sisters. Has not God chosen the poor in the world to be rich in faith and to be heirs of the kingdom that he has promised to those who love him?" the part about the poor in the world being rich in faith struck me.
There I was in a little Haitian church sitting among the poor of the world and witnessing their rich faith as I memorized James 2:5.
As convoluted as some of the beliefs are here, with as much influence of voodoo and myth that are present, these people have some of the greatest, most devout faith I've seen. The joy and enthusiasm they worship with would put us to shame. 
After listening to Haitians pray we've commented more than once that we Americans don't really know what it means to pray. That's just one example.
While there are things we can teach these people we also have so much to learn from them.