Not Home Yet...

Shortly after my dad passed away I was talking with a friend about being fatherless and they reminded me that God is A Father to the fatherless (Psalm 68:5) and it was the first time I could really relate to/claim that verse for myself. As I thought about the fact that heaven is now home to my earthly father as well as my Heavenly Father I longed for heaven like I never had before. God really began showing me that this world is not my home and it’s not what my soul longs for.

Around that time Building429 came out with a song, WhereI Belong, which quickly became a theme for my life that year, and now still.

God has reminded me of this fact lately with what’s been going on here, and as I’ve been reading in Hebrews these verses really stuck out to me the past few days… They confessed that they were strangers and foreigners on the earth… they desire a better country, that is, a heavenly one… For here we have no lasting city, but we are looking for the city that is to come (Hebrews 11:13b & 16a, 13:14).

So as I think about returning to the States in a few short weeks (seven to be exact) and don’t necessarily feel that that is really home, and as I don’t really feel like I’m at home in Haiti right now God is reminding me that I will never really feel like I’m at home until I’m with Him; That my soul will never fully be satisfied as long as I walk this earth.

I’m reminded to live life to the fullest, to walk in faith as those in Hebrews 11 did but to have my ultimate destination, heaven, always as my focus. 

These are the study notes on the above verses from Hebrews

11.13 That we are “strangers and foreigners” may be an awareness forced upon us by circumstances. It may come late in life or as the result of difficult times. But this world is not our home. We cannot live here forever. It is best for us not to be so attached to this world’s desires and possessions that we can’t move out at God’s command.

11.13-16 These people of faith died without receiving all that God had promised, but they never lost their vision of heaven (“a homeland”). Many Christians become frustrated and defeated because their needs, wants, expectations, and demands are not immediately met when they believe in Christ. They become impatient and want to quit. Are you discouraged because your goal seems far away? Take courage from these heroes of the faith who lived and died without seeing the fruit of their faith on earth, and yet continued to believe.

13.14 We should not be attached to this world, because all that we are and have here is temporary. Only our relationship with God and our service to him will last. Don’t store up your treasures here, store them in heaven (Matthew 6.19-21).

Snapshot Sunday

As I debate about whether or not to post the blog I wrote Friday (before I can post the one I wrote today) I'll give you some pictures enjoy :)

 Saturday hike

 Some of our boys at group devotions

For those of you who have been wanting to see our new room (I like it but it's not much so don't get too excited :) Disclaimer: we were still moving in so things are a bit messy and disorganized in these photos...

 As you walk in the door...

and turn the corner...

 and turn a little more (my corner of the room)...

 view from my bed of Natalie's corner and the bathroom...

 our cozy little bathroom...

 and more bathroom.

One of the girls from the Show Hope group at the beach with Renaud

 This note was in my encouragement bag from all of the Show Hope girls :) (Matt had a note stating the opposite). It gave us a good chuckle. 

 Marie Denise & D'Jlonde at the beach last Thursday

 M & M

 Celebrated Miss Claire's 8th birthday today!

 Gio going all Karate Kid at the beach yesterday

 Hangin' out on the Montero

I just walked up to the galri and this is the site I saw... 

Is It Wednesday Yet?

There have been many things I’ve wanted to blog in the past week but between having our first group of the summer, our internet being down the past few days, and my new room not having internet it just hasn’t happened.

We have staff meeting the beginning of each week and try to start off asking “how did you see God this week?”

Last week I saw God through our group. Our group included a large equipment mechanic, custom wood worker (or whatever he is officially called), an OCD mom, a girl who knew sign language, a lady with a bag full of medicine and natural remedies, to name a few. Totally different people but God had a purpose for each one. Another mission in town had a broken down tractor, another missions generator has been on the fritz and not working for a while, we have a smaller generator that has been sitting and not working for a realllly long time; all of these things were fixed or “diagnosed” by Tim (large equipment mechanic).

Chrissy (sign language) was able to connect with Kerby (our deaf boy) and communicate with Kerby’s deaf tutor which was really cool for all of them and for us to see.

Julie (medicine and remedies) was here just at the right time as many of us were under the weather. Matt and I were particularly grateful for her natural “booster shot” that helped our sore throat, mucus, coughing, cold, plugged ear issues.

And then there was Rita (OCD mom) who has a HUGE help to me in the depot. Long story short I’ve been a little nervous and quite apprehensive about letting people in to “my” depot to work this summer and it was with apprehension that I started working with Rita Monday morning. Turns out she’s OCD and an organizer (like me!) and I felt completely fine to give her instructions and leave her in the depot to work without me Tuesday morning. You don’t know how huge that was!

Her family is also going through some similar things my family back home is going through so we were able to talk and encourage each other.

Now to today (really yesterday, 6.12) which is why I really sat down to write…

Today in one word… FRUSTRATING!

I’m ready for the day to be over. I’m proud of myself for not losing it and ending up in tears multiple times today. There’s not one big thing that happened or went wrong, just a lot of little things, things not going right, people upset because you didn’t do something the way they wanted or get what they wanted, having to work with people who weren’t really taking any initiative so nothing was really happening. About the time progress was finally made, and things were looking nice we spotted a rat... things were pulled off shelves, shoved around but we lost the rat... which led to every single tote being pulled off the shelves, off the floor and out of the depot. I finally had to wrap things up, walk away, shower and now I’m in my room reading and just needed to write down my frustration. I’m sure God is trying to teach me something I just don’t know what that is.

Little Blessings

So I wrote this Saturday morning and am just getting the chance to post it. The last two days have been crazy and it feels like these things happened a week ago...

I’ve had some really good beach trips the last couple of days which was a switch from last week when I was “beached out.” Friday we take the kindergarten aged kids to the beach and I was able to spend some good one-on-one time with one girl in particular that I don’t get to spend much time with. She is one, of a few, we've indentified as children who draw back when they don’t get attention rather than act out and seek it out like most of our kids. Anyway, it was just really good to get to spend time “jumping” waves with her, walking the beach, and just being together. I also spent time playing on the beach with some of the little boys we don’t see often because they are in their houses most of the time.

As I laid on the beach playing with the kids I just stopped and looked around me, the view down the beach is absolutely gorgeous! And I was simply in awe of God and His creation. Not too many days go by that I don’t stare at the mountain and it’s beauty but it had been awhile since I’d really just taken in the awesomeness of the beauty around me here. It was really a refreshing afternoon, and to think I wasn’t planning on going…

Today was a fun day at the beach for sillier reasons. There were coconuts just laying on the beach, most of them were split open already but there was one that wasn’t so I split open a coconut on a rock and ate coconut right out of the shell today! I know you can buy a coconut in the states but this is different : ) There is also an almond tree on this particular beach so for the last two weeks I’ve had kids cracking almonds and giving me almonds right out of the shell as I sit on a beach, under palm trees, at the base of a mountain in Haiti with 25 kids I am privileged to love and help care for everyday. How blessed am I?

Back to today... We've got our first group of the summer here this week and it's going to be a crazy busy. Our second group comes in Friday and this group doesn't leave until Saturday, thankfully the overlap is just one night... 

Pray for patience for me. Mine is already being a little tested with this group, and it's just small things which seem inconsiderate that are bothering me. Maybe I expect too much, I don't know. Anyhow, pray that I'll be patient and understanding with the groups (especially next week when we have 15 young females...).

Summer Is Here!

Not only has another week flown by, but this month has flown by! Have I really been here nearly two months?!? It doesn’t seem possible.

We started our new kid activity schedule two weeks ago so weekends here are busy, busy. In between “normal” tasks Thursday we have baby/toddler beach trip at 10, Friday is kindergarten beach trip at 1, and Saturday is 1^st-6^th grade beach trip at 2. Saturday morning we do a hike, or something physical, and then Sunday afternoon is a special activity for the 2^nd-6^th graders who got good grades. It’s great to be able to spend some one-on-one time with the kids in smaller groups and off campus. It’s also tiring, come Sunday I was actually hoping we didn’t go to the beach because I was “beached out.” Didn’t think I’d ever be saying that…

Last week we also went to a high school soccer game Tuesday and Thursday with some of the older kids. The kids’ schools team played both days and won the championship game Thursday, came down to penalty kicks, exciting stuff.

This weekend we officially kick off our summer of (nearly) back to back groups with some overlapping, eek! It will definitely be getting busier for all of us.

It’s interesting to have the experience of being a part of a group and now to have the experience of being here long-term. So many things you don’t think about or realize as a group member… The dynamics will be changing around here each and every week as various groups come in. It will be interesting to say the least…

Keep our groups in your prayers (safety, much to be accomplished, relationships with kids, each other, God); pray for our staff as we have our usual daily tasks, hosting teams, and caring for the kids (especially dealing with the dynamic of teams coming and going); pray for our kids as each week they have to adjust to a new group of people coming in and leaving.

Here I am sitting down to blog and I’m really not sure what to blog about…

The longer I’m here I love these kids more and more and know I’m not going to handle leaving well.

It’s difficult because there is one girl in particular who really needs a one-on-one connection. Someone to really invest in her, spend time with her, love her, and be her confidant. I so badly want to be that person but at the same time I’m not stepping up to be that person because if I’m just walking out of here in 2.5 months what have I really accomplished? I feel I’ll just harm her further by adding to the list of people who she’s gotten close to, trusted and then watched walk out of her life.

I think I’ve said it before, but it’s a lot harder to get close to the girls here. I’m no child psychologist but I think a big part of it is not only the fact that they’ve been abandoned by their parents and family, but, especially in the last year, have had a long list of females come in here, get close to them, promise to be here for a long time and then suddenly leave. I don’t want to add to that list. I also don’t want to keep my distance when I see a need… Pray with me about how I can help the situation now without adding to the problem when I leave.

Also pray with me about what God has for me after these four months are up. Haiti is where my heart is, I have complete peace that God has me here, Haiti feels like home. 

Just Another Day

Nothing extraordinary happened yesterday but throughout the day I kept thinking,  I need to blog about today. It was another one of those days where I had to sit back and take in that this is where God has me right now.

The day started off with plans to knock out a few projects, mark lots of things off my to-do list, morning beach trip with the toddlers and babies… By 9:15 those plans were already out the window.

As I was off to start the one project Matt and I were really wanting to finish yesterday I remembered I needed to do check-ups (had been doing them on Wednesday but Wednesday is now my day off), so I got started on that and Matt was sitting on the galri talking to kids. Well 1.5 hours later I finish check-ups and Matt is still sitting on the galri.

I was going to make a comment about him being lazy and not starting in on the project but I’m glad I didn’t because he’d been talking to our oldest girl about salvation, baptism, and taming the tongue. I’m really glad I got in on the last part of the conversation and hopefully we’ll regularly do more one-on-one things like that. So our morning project didn’t get started at all but in the grand scheme of things it’s unimportant anyway. Flexibility is key : )

I did manage to get a few things done in the afternoon and just as I was getting going on some computer work that needed to be done Matt comes to my room and asks if I want to go to the beach with the little kids… Work, beach? Work, beach? Oh, wait. I work at an orphanage and part of my job is kid activities so going to the beach is work! Yes, I’ll go to the beach with the little kids : ) Again, planned work didn’t get done but that’s okay.

There was a young boy at the beach (he has crab traps off the beach where we were swimming) who we see every now and then. He’s a really good swimmer, does crazy flip things, really friendly cute kid… he just doesn’t wear clothes when he swims. Not a big deal just another day in Haiti swimming with a naked child. Funny the things that quickly become normal and don’t really bother you.

So that was my day which is somewhat typical for everyday. Have plans, plans don’t happen, get some things done while other things go undone, have great conversation with kids, late beach trips, swimming with naked children, worship night, hanging out with the team.

Oh, and I wasn’t thinking about blogging this but it was kinda funny…

Last night Natalie and I were hanging out at Stephen and Carrie’s apartment, we start to head over to the group house around 11 and I notice the boys’ apartment is locked up and dark… So I tell Natalie we should walk the ledge to their back galri (the guys live on the second story of the group/big house with their bedroom in the back corner and a little porch off the bedroom) and bang on their windows. Cam is always sneaking up on the boys’ house and scaring them so I felt like they were fair game. We tell Stephen and he pretty much encourages us, so Natalie and I go walk the ledge to the galri and pound on the door that goes into their bedroom, hop the rail and stand on the ledge waiting for any sort of reaction. We hear nothing, see nothing, no one comes out (except Carrie from her apartment to see what’s going on) so we come back down to our room thinking that was really lame they’re probably still sleeping.

Come to find out this morning Cam was just getting into that state of deep sleep and jumped out of his bed, turned on the light, and started looking for his knife, he didn’t go out the door because there was a rocking chair in front of it. Josue thought it was gun shots, and Matt was just upset that he was woken up and continued to lay there when he saw Cam was up and moving (I guess he thought Cam would protect him). Anyway, Cam called Stephen to see who was there before storming the galri (we have 14 security cameras on campus and the monitor is in Stephen and Carrie’s house). So ends up we were more successful than we thought. Now we just have to sleep with one eye open…