Here In This Place

(2.20.13)

Worshipped and prayed in the Freedom House tonight with three of the girls who will be living there. Powerful.

As we sang the lyrics “there’s no place I’d rather be than here in Your love” I could only think there’s no place I’d rather be than here with these people, in this Country, in this moment.

Being here, leaving jobs, family and friends, and a comfortable life may seem foolish to some but tonight there was no doubt I’m in the right place. I’m where I’m supposed to be. I’m so humbled God would choose to use broken, imperfect human beings; that He could choose to use me.

Family

(2.12.13)

“…and they said to him, ‘Your mother and your brothers and sisters are outside, asking for you.’ And he replied, ‘Who are my mother and my brothers?’ And looking at those who sat around him, he said, ‘Here are my mother and my brothers! Whoever does the will of God is my brother and sister and mother.’” Mark 3:32b-35

As I sat in a circle of people make up of Haitians and Americans, staff and group members (Jessi’s family), ages 2-34, these verses came to mind.

Though I have biological family in the States whom I love and miss the people in that circle truly feel like family, and they are!

Anyone I serve along side of is my brother, or sister, or mother. God may place me somewhere away from my “real” family but He surrounds me with “new” family.

I will embrace this mindset and thought pattern as we begin a stretch of back to back groups. God is faithful.

(This came at a good time as I’ve been asked to stay in Haiti longer and I was thinking of missing my family, missing holidays, birthdays and road trips I hadn’t planned on missing or thought would be missed.)

Hope

(1.7.13)

Where do I even begin?!

• Josh and Megan got back Monday after being gone nearly two weeks.
• I’ve spent my first full week in K-2. Words to describe that… chaotic, energy, cuteness, exhausting, frustrating, encouraging, hope. These young four(ish) year olds have hope, though they may not know or recognize it, for a future of freedom if they continue on this path of education; hope that their parents are learning that their lives are valuable and worth fighting for, that with education come options, options other than becoming a restavek (child slave). I pray these children never know the life of a restavek.
• There’s a song I heard here for the first time and it’s perfect for Haiti. So many times I’ve thought, oh, that is so applicable/appropriate  right now, I’m declaring that in this situation. The lyrics talk about plundering the gates of hell and taking back what the enemy has stolen.                                                                           I was not there but that is literally what happened today as some of our American and Haitian staff found themselves standing in a voodoo temple fighting for a young girl. They went thinking they’d start the process by just visiting her (she hadn't returned to school, or home, after leaving to visit family for Christmas), and talking with the family but as things went from okay/so-so to not good they definitely weren’t expecting to leave with her. God had other plans and that is exactly what happened! It was a total Spirit-filled God moment and now J is sleeping on the floor (on a mattress) between our bunk beds.
• There are a lot of things to think and pray about as we prepare the Freedom House and consider the long-term plans for Robertline and J. Pray with us for wisdom and clarity in all that needs to be decided.
• If I had three wishes right now one of them would be to annihilate ants!
• It’s been pouring steady rain for a good couple hours! This resulted in a wet, cold run from one house to the other, and that resulted in the “warmest” bucket bath I’ve had to date.
• As I lay here in bed writing by lantern light I can’t help but think the rain is a perfect example of cleansing, redemption, a fresh start. Hope.
• Tomorrow is the last day of school before a five day break!!! I am so ready! We’re heading to the beach Tuesday morning, renting a house on the beach until Wednesday evening (for $35!!!). It is going to be so much fun! American staff, Haitian staff, staff kids, the girls, and Jessi’s family; eating lobster and fish, snorkeling, swimming, laying out, worship on the beach, sleeping under the stars, family time, bonding time, time for relaxation and renewal. So needed and so ready.

These words are from Set a Fire by Will Reagan and United Pursuit and haven become my prayer. Pray it with and for me.

Set a fire down in my soul that I can’t contain and I can’t control

I want more of You God, I want more of You God

No place I’d rather be than here in Your love

But Jesus said, "Let the children come to me. Don't stop them! For the Kingdom of Heaven belongs to those who are like these children." Matthew 19:14

Bedside Baptist :)

I stayed home from church yesterday morning and had my own church; did some reading, listened to some music and sermon podcasts. It was good :) These are somethings I took note of and wanted to share...

"The marvel of the Redemptive Reality of God is that the worst and the vilest can never get to the bottom of His love. ~Oswald Chambers

"You're the God who comes to raise the dead
I know You'll raise me up again
I know You'll raise me up again
For who can praise You from the grave?
I die to see the life You gave
Just to see the life You gave
And every fear in me You've put to rest
It's the song I bring of Your faithfulness
And every tear has led my feet to stand 
Where the ocean meets the land
Where the ocean meets the land...
I lift my hands
If my hands fail I"ll bend my knees
If my knees grow weak
I'll raise my voice and I'll sing 
I'll sing I know that You love me
So give me a song to sing
Give me a song to sing
Give me a song to sing and I'll sing it"
~Will Reagan and United Pursuit (Give Me A Song)

"Something inside us is coming alive
You're sending us out with authority
You gill us with fire holy desire
Your spirit is all that we'll ever need
You are all that we'll ever need
Breaking down strongholds of the enemy
By the blood of the lamb
Breaking down strongholds of the enemy
By Your blood by Your blood
Moving to the rhythm of Jesus heart
Moving to the rhythm of Jesus heart
~Will Reagan and United Pursuit (Commission)

"If you've gotten over the Gospel I offer that you may have never gotten the Gospel." ~Louie Giglio

Whatever sin can do grace can do more. 

But where sin increased and abounded, grace has surpassed it and increased the more and superabounded, Romans 5:20b

I recommend reading Romans 5 in it's entirety if you haven't in a while :)

Thoughts

So very many thoughts lately…

• What will happen to the Wonder boys?
• Will Sheila be able to get treatment?
• Jessi is going to be missed when she goes back home Feb. 18.
• So happy to finally see Wilta at school. She has wanted this for so long and now she is free and realizing her dream!
• I wish I could speak Creole (no, they don’t speak Haitian in Haiti)
• The hike up the mountain is not getting easier. Yet :)
• I cannot get over the view (in every direction) atop Bellvue mountain.
• Tachi makes AMAZING bean sauce. I could eat it every day along with her red sauce.
• I want so badly to be able to communicate with Baylove and Fenickson (not to mention everyone else :) )
• Eating anything in front of the kids at school brings on guilt knowing they feel a hunger I have never felt.
• I miss my church and am thankful for sermon podcasts.
• Someone needs to invent solar powered laptops and phones (or install solar panels at the RH house).
• I stink. Literally.
• After two days of giving fluoride treatments I am not inspired to be a dentist or dental hygienist. God bless dental hygienists.
• In Haiti you are whatever you are needed to be: nurse, cook, dental hygienist, doctor, hostess, care giver, teacher, wedding planner/coordinator, photographer, videographer, painter, computer tech, house keeper, wash lady, English tutor/homework helper, and the list will continue to grow I’m sure.
• I just got goosebumps.
• I am so thankful for all of the people coming down in the next few weeks who so eagerly, and willing, are bringing me goodies.
• I’m excited to see friends I met in Haiti over the summer when they are at myLIFEspeaks in just over two weeks!
• Yesterday one of our workers dug food out of our trashcan. I was caught off guard and my heart sank/ached. Mark said it was probably for our landlords dog… I hope so.
• Will Wadley and Bernard be able to get their visas? (they were denied at their interview last week.)
• Why doesn’t God make some things more obvious?
• What is next? What comes after April 1?
• There are so many people I miss and have been thinking about; wishing I could catch up with them in person.
• I sometimes feel pulled between two worlds.
• My shoulder is killing me. Any chiropractors or massage therapists want to come to Haiti?!?
• I love seeing the school kids hug their teachers. There is one older teacher in particular whom I see kids run up to and hug, I don’t mean a quick little hug, they grab him around his waist and hold on for a while. I LOVE it. I love that you can tell he cares! (He teaches accelerated 3 & 4 which is one of the most difficult classes because you have a wide age range of kids trying to finish two grades in one year in an attempt to catch up.)
• I’m thankful for other missionaries in the area who are so willing to help out whether it’s with transportation, lending laptops or coming out to help start/fix our generator. 
• Trying to understand Haitian logic is mind boggling. (Haitian logic should be an oxymoron :) )  
• We live in a fallen, broken world full of the evilness of the enemy. 

         "We're gonna take back all the enemy has stolen

           

           For how could He who did not spare His own Son 
           Not freely give us victory against the darkness of nights

          We're going to plunder the pits of hell

          It's in the Blood of the One who's Worthy"

          -Will Reagan & United Pursuit

And these aren’t even all the thoughts running through my mind…

Sheila

We took Sheila to a hospital in PAP on Sunday to see some Drs who were in from the States. The Dr didn’t need any tests done to confirm breast cancer. Sheila was shocked she really thought she was getting better (the wound is getting smaller but she has some “knots” that continue to grow and harden) and had no clue. We, on the other hand, were thinking cancer more and more with each packing. The Dr thinks the cancer could have already to spread to multiple places and because of where it is etc, they couldn’t cut or do anything Sunday.

Shelia had an appointment today at a cancer center in PAP. They were very supportive and reassuring, and will continue to check with Sheila and support her as she seeks treatment elsewhere (this particular center would be really expensive so they recommend somewhere else).

Sheila has young kids and wants to fight; she is not ready to give up.

Having cancer here seems extra hopeless. My heart aches for Sheila, it aches for her husband, and for her children. My heart is also thankful that Respire is here to help and offer support. Reality is if we hadn’t started helping her four weeks ago she might not be here right now.

We are praying for a miracle for Sheila, for healing, knowing and believing God has a plan and can heal Sheila if that is His will. If healing isn’t His will His plan is still good.

Pray with us as we walk through this with Sheila and her family. Pray for wisdom and guidance; for healing, strength, and energy for Sheila. Pray for encouragement and comfort for Sheila, her husband and children.

Take No Thought

(1.27.13)

“Take not thought for your life.”

Matthew 6:25

A warning which needs to be reiterated is that the cares of this world, the deceitfulness of riches, and the lust of other things entering in, will choke all that God puts in. We are never free from the recurring tides of this encroachment. If it does not come on the line of clothes and good, it will come on the line of money or lack of money; of friends or lack of friends; or on the lines of difficult circumstances. It is one steady encroachment all the time, and unless we allow the Spirit of God to raise up the standard against it, these things will come in like a flood.

   “Take no thought for your life.” “Be careful about one thing only,” says our Lord, “your relationship to Me.” Common sense shouts loud and says, “That is absurd, I must consider what I am going to eat and drink.” Jesus says you must not. Beware of allowing the thought that this statement is made by One Who does not understand our particular circumstances better than we do, and He says we must not think about these things so as to make them the one concern of our life. Whenever there is competition, be sure that you put your relationship to God first.

   “Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof.” How much evil has begun to threaten you today? What kind of mean little imps have been looking in and saying –Now what are you going to do next month – this summer? “Be anxious for nothing,” Jesus says. Look again and think. Keep your mind on the “’much more” of your heavenly Father.

-My Utmost For His Highest