I've started a couple posts since I've been back in the States but have not completed them... maybe I'll pull my thoughts together and finish them. Eventually...
I'm facing, what's turning out to be a difficult, decision. To pursue an opportunity to return to Haiti in January or not. Who thought I would have trouble with this decision?!? Not me, that's for sure!
As previously stated I have an opportunity to return to Haiti in January with an organization called Respire Haiti, it would be a 2.5 month "internship." There are multiple things which factor into this decision, it's not long-term (but an opportunity that God could use to open those doors), I would most likely be quitting my (not-so-bad) job and be coming back to no work (if I come back...), fundraising, etc, etc.
Last week I started a Bible Study on Ruth with a group of ladies from church; week one was titled "Two Journeys," the first day was "Fleeing Home." I couldn't help but compare it to my journey to Haiti, and my decision(s) about returning to Haiti.
Day one was a lot of background on the Moabites, a nation which God had commanded His people, the Israelites, not to be in relationship with. The country to which Elimeelech fled with his family due to famine in Judah. (Some of the scripture readings were Ruth 1:1-2; Deut. 23:3-6 and Judges 3:12-14 should you care to look them up. :)
"...Here they stood on the precipice of a sticky decision - to stay in the arid land of God's choosing or to flee to the bountiful one God had roped off. We know that Elimelech chose the latter, but the question today is What will you choose? Perhaps the Lord has you in difficult circumstances and the attractive land of Moab is an alluring decision away. Escaping to easier terrain is all too tempting when we're weary in hardship."
So, we've got the arid land and the bountiful one... for me, which is Haiti and which is the States? I don't think God has "roped off" either to me, but which one is the "easier terrain"? I'm not entirely sure.
My heart is in Haiti, I love Haiti. But is that just me and my selfish desires? I believe it is a desire God has placed in me.
Then there are days when I'm driving down the street and I think I could be happy/content here just working, being involved in church, advocating for orphans from/in the States. So is that the "easier terrain" or would that be the "land of God's choosing"?
Do I simply not have enough faith to quit my job and go for it? See where God will lead?What He has to teach me? How He wants to grow me? Am I putting too much stock in what others are saying (or not saying)?
Kelly (the author of the Bible study) had us read Galatians 6:9 and Hebrews 11:24-26 then "write about how these verses encourage you to stand firm where God has you," being as thoughtful and detailed as we could.
I know what my heart says. (I also know what my brain says. ;) ) I know God hasn't shut the door yet. I know either decision will take me having faith in one way or another.
This study has already encouraged me, God has already used it to speak to me in the place I am in right now.
Hopefully this can be an encouragement to you in the decisions you are facing right now, and not just me and my random babble as I spew my thoughts about, I pray you are encouraged to stay where God has you, move forward to where He is leading, or perhaps to return to an "arid land" which you have fled in order to pursue that which looked more bountiful, attractive and alluring.
