So in order to not go yet another week without blogging, and to "keep it real" I decided to share these lyrics and my struggle...
"The Struggle"
Tenth Avenue North
There's a wreckage, there's a fire
There's a weakness in my love
There's a hunger I can't control
Lord I falter and I fall down
Then I hold on to the chains you broke
When You came down and saved my soul
Save my soul
Hallelujah
We are free to struggle
We're not struggling to be free
Your blood bought and makes us children
So children drop your chains and sing
So I look, do I still fail
Do I withhold, do I still give in to temptation
On my own I am bankrupt
I will trust You, I'll take you at your word
You promise
Hallelujah
We are free to struggle
We're not struggling to be free
Your blood bought and makes us children
So children drop your chains and sing
Hallelujah, death is overcome
And we are breathing
Hallelujah our stone hearts become flesh
A flesh that's beating
Hallelujah chains have been undone
And we are singing
Hallelujah the fire has begun
Can you feel it?
Hallelujah, death is overcome
And we are breathing
Hallelujah our stone hearts become flesh
A flesh that's beating
Hallelujah chains have been undone
And we are singing
Hallelujah the fire has begun
Can you feel it?
Hallelujah
We are free to struggle
We're not struggling to be free
Your blood bought and makes us children
So children drop your chains and sing
There's a weakness in my love
There's a hunger I can't control
Lord I falter and I fall down
Then I hold on to the chains you broke
When You came down and saved my soul
Save my soul
Hallelujah
We are free to struggle
We're not struggling to be free
Your blood bought and makes us children
So children drop your chains and sing
So I look, do I still fail
Do I withhold, do I still give in to temptation
On my own I am bankrupt
I will trust You, I'll take you at your word
You promise
Hallelujah
We are free to struggle
We're not struggling to be free
Your blood bought and makes us children
So children drop your chains and sing
Hallelujah, death is overcome
And we are breathing
Hallelujah our stone hearts become flesh
A flesh that's beating
Hallelujah chains have been undone
And we are singing
Hallelujah the fire has begun
Can you feel it?
Hallelujah, death is overcome
And we are breathing
Hallelujah our stone hearts become flesh
A flesh that's beating
Hallelujah chains have been undone
And we are singing
Hallelujah the fire has begun
Can you feel it?
Hallelujah
We are free to struggle
We're not struggling to be free
Your blood bought and makes us children
So children drop your chains and sing
Lately I've been struggling with one of our live-in Haitian staff; I'm toeing the line of knowing when to speak up and when to let her make poor decisions. I want her and what she is doing to be successful, and I also want her to take ownership, to stop relying on me and step up, but everytime I try to suggest something or explain why what she's thinking might not be the best option it's taken as an attack, or as Americans being better then Haitians, knowing more, thinking our ways are best, etc, etc.
It's been really hard and I'm on my last ounce of patience as she's really started "pushing my buttons" so to speak, and making things personal. I'm struggling to be patient, to be kind, to be loving, to not be frustrated and upset. I'm struggling to keep my focus on what the goal really is, on what the reason is for doing what we're doing because of everything else that is going on. Satan is definitely trying to tear down, distract and discourage.
I'm in need of some good ol' serious God time, strengthening and encouraging. Praying for patience, a soft heart, kind works, and a gentle spirit.
So there it is, me being "real."
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