Defeat

Today has been one of those days where you just feel defeated.

It was a wonderful first day of school, so many kids in new uniforms, new teachers, a band at the flag ceremony, so many parents there to show their support, new beginnings, new possibilities.

And then there are the kids who come, wanting to be in school… There are five young men in particular who want to be in 9^th grade and I got the terrible job of telling them we don’t have space and they can’t come. Their reply, “all the other schools have closed enrollments, they aren’t taking new students. What are we suppose to do? There’s nowhere else for us to go.”

Telling a Kindergartner “no, you are too young” is one thing, they have many years and won’t really be behind. These 9^th grade boys? If they aren’t at our school I know it’s true, no other school will take them this late. They won’t be going to school this year. If they don’t go to school this year will they even try next year now that they are yet another year behind? What will these boys end up doing if not in school?

They stood outside the school gate all morning. I wanted to cry every time I walked past. My heart weighs heavily when I think about them, knowing they so badly want to come to school, to have hope for a better future, but there is nothing I can do…

Then there is Universole, a non-profit organization that trains at-risk girls how to make leather sandals. About a month ago they arrived in Gressier with all the equipment we would need, and spent two weeks training some of our American staff and the four girls we choose, how to make sandals and a few other items.

Well today things started well, one girl was on time (yay!) and did the best job she has done yet with sewing. I was so proud of her!

And then everything started breaking… Literally. Every. Thing.

One sewing machine was already not working, something with the bobbin, the heavy-duty machine got jammed up today and when that happened the needle and bobbin got out of line. We snapped two needles and it still isn’t re-aligned…

Our “clicker”, as we call it, started leaking oil and then started distributing pressure unevenly so it wasn’t cutting through the leather properly. One side would be cut through, and stuck in the self healing mat, while the other side of the die wouldn’t have even made a mark in the leather.

Steph went to use the thread burning tool and it too was not working. 

Broken. Everything.

We finally sent the girls home because they couldn’t do anything.

Defeat. That’s what I’ve felt. Attacked. This is something good in these girls lives, it gives them hope, it opens up new opportunities and possibilities, we are having Bible studies with them and working with praise songs playing in the background. This is an environment these girls have never had before and I am convinced satan doesn’t like it, these are all attacks of the enemy. He doesn’t want anything good for these girls, he doesn’t want them to have hope when all they’ve known lately is hopelessness.

I’m trying to look at all the good and see all the positive things God is doing at school, through Universole, through Respire Haiti but today is just one of those days where defeat seems to weigh you down. (And you just have to write a blog to get it all out.)

I am so thankful we are heading up the mountain to worship tonight, it is very needed today. 

Please remember to pray for us as we open up a new school year. Satan is always lurking, looking for new ways to attack us, may we always be ready and stand firm in knowing the power of Jesus name.