This morning after reading in 1 Corinthians I was reading Keep a Quiet Heart by Elisabeth Elliot and read this... "When there is a deep restlessness for which we find no explanation, it may be due to the greed of being - what our loving Father never meant for us to be. Peace lies in the acceptance of His design, His gifts, His appointment of place, position, capacity."
I have been restless over the past year God. Thought I've grown in relationship with You I realize I was also focusing on the greediness of being what I wanted, doing what I thought would make me happy, what would make me feel good. I was trying on my own, taking me eyes off of Your will. (Notes from my journal, cut off due to the fact it was time for morning staff meeting...)
My eyes were just opened to the fact that over the past year I've pursued, or thought about pursing, different things, things that I thought I'd love or would make me happy. The times I feel most at peace are here, in Haiti, times when I'm serving. I struggled a little with leaving the U.S. and thinking of all the things I'd be leaving and/or giving up by coming to Haiti (especially when I thought of the possibility of being here longer-term), but those things aren't the things that would bring peace.
It's a new "re-discovering" of the love God has placed in me for Haiti, for service, another confirmation I guess you could say.
I've written this as I think it so hopefully it all makes sense...
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