Without Knowing

(written 1.2.13)

I arrived in Gressier safe and sound, although very tired, with my (brand new) mangled luggage.

I basically slept the day away :) After lunch I slept for about 6 hours and then was back in bed before 9:30.

This is definitely a step outside my comfort zone, a stretch beyond the box of Haiti that I have become comfortable and “safe” within.

Something that hasn’t changed is that I love this place. It was a little like coming home, all the familiar sights, sounds and smells that are Haiti. It was a little weird on the drive from the airport to think that I’m in Haiti and won’t be seeing  the HAF kids whom I love and miss so dearly.

I have no idea what God has for me on this journey or the things He will put before me to do but I’m anxious to figure it out.

This morning’s reading in “My Utmost for His Highest” was titled “Will You Go Without Knowing?” Here is what it said…

“He went out, not knowing whither he went.” Hebrews 11:8

“Have you been ‘out’ in this way? If so, there is no logical statement possible when anyone asks you what you are doing. One of the difficulties in Christian work is this question – ‘What do you expect to do?’ You do not know what you are going to do; the only thing you know is that God knows what He is doing. Continually revise your attitude towards God and see if it is a going out of everything, trusting in God entirely. It is this attitude that keeps you in perpetual wonder-you do not know what God is going to do next. Each morning you wake it is to be a ‘going out,’ building in confidence on God. ‘Take no thought for your life,… nor yet for your body’ – take not thought for the things for which you did take thought before you ‘went out.’

                Have you been asking God what He is going to do? He will never tell you. God does not tell you what He is going to do; He reveals to you Who He is. Do you believe in a miracle-working God, and will you go out in surrender to Him until you are not surprised an atom at anything He does?

                Suppose God is the God you know Him to be when you are nearest to Him – what an impertinence worry is! Let the attitude of the life be a continual ‘going out’ in dependence upon God, and your life will have an ineffable charm about it which is a satisfaction to Jesus. You have to learn to go out of conviction, out of creeds, out of experiences, until so far as your faith is concerned, there is nothing between yourself and God.”

I found this interesting because I have come “without knowing.” Without knowing anyone here, without knowing a whole lot about the ministry, without knowing what I’ll be doing, without knowing where I’d be living or what the conditions would be.

I still don’t know what I’ll be doing these next three months and it is kind of up to me. Megan wants any volunteers/interns with Respire to be able to use their gifts and do what it is they feel God is leading them to. She doesn’t want to just stick a person into a job/position. So, I will live life here with the Respire family and, Lord willing, build relationships with our Haitian staff and neighbors and see where God leads me.

I’ve come at a relaxed/lulled down time as school is still out and everyone is on a bit of a break. Once things get back into swing come Monday I will get more of an idea of what kind of things go on on a daily basis, as well as all the various things Respire does here in Gressier.